Was it worth it?
It's a question I seem to ask myself every year around this time. Despite all of our modern technologies, electricity, wifi and artificial environments, our beings are still called to honor the natural cycles. To slow down. Reflect. Breathe. Give thanks. Take stock. Look forward in hope. Today, it's an opportunity to remember that we, too, are still part of the natural world and honor that tug to align to those cycles. We feel it in our bones, as we want want to rush less, rest more, be more quiet.
So today, at the threshold of a new season, and conclusion of an old one, I allow myself that period of respite to mentally take stock of all the things that happened, the things I've learned, the things I've gained, what I've let go. And I'm amazed. It's been one heck of a year. Each year I'm blown away with where my life ended up from where it began that previous January. We get so caught up in the current crises of the day we often forget just how far we've come and lose our sense of time. The current drama hasn't been going on forever, it just feels like it. We've overcome much larger obstacles than these - we have the proof. And we've had far greater victories. We just need to remember. Today's a good a day as any to do that.
So I dust off the memory banks and endeavor to relieve the highlights. As I go thru my mental checklist of all the "big things" that happened this year, I'm a little shocked to see a fairly clear trend emerge. If I had to assign a theme to this year it might be "stand up, speak out, stream line, clear out, get ready." For what? I wonder. It seems, intuitively, I'm preparing for a big change on all fronts. About clearing out the debris in my life that doesn't positively impact me, getting rid of what I no longer need - attitudes, doubts, fears, non-contributing relationships, situations - and taking active steps to alter those that I can in ways that are more in line with what I need.
Sure, there have been some sadnesses as well. Some losses. Some disappointments. Though, really looking at those, they all had a purpose with something positive to take away - no regrets. So not sure they really count as bad. At the time they might've felt a bit overwhelming but now, looking back on the entire year, they are far outweighed by the good. Or maybe I've just learned to see something good in them and recognize the opportunity in them. Opportunities that helped me recognize and align to the next really good thing coming around the bend. It's that perception thing again that seems to turn the tide. Nifty little trick, that positive thinking thing.
Maybe that's what the Mayan's meant - that the negative world as we know it will end and we will choose to see a new world with new eyes? I dunno. Probably not, but that's how I'm choosing to interpret it. Because clearly, we're still here on this "end of the world" day. The ground did not swallow us up, the aliens did not come to take us away on their space ships. We did not physically ascend anywhere, yet, perhaps we are internally transformed. Maybe just a little.
I, for one, am glad for this down time today, on the shortest day of the year, to take a slight break. To catch my breath, to give thanks for where I am, how far I've come and take a restorative break to prepare for a a new year filled with opportunity, creativity and a likely roller coaster of changes in the coming year with all kinds of new opportunities, changes, challenges and adventures just waiting. I can sense it. I can smell it. If it's anything like this year, I'm going to need an extra seatbelt and a safety harness!
But, yes. It was definitely worth it. I'm glad the Mayan's were wrong and we have a new day for new beginnings. I'm absolutely ready to do it again......
Happy Winter's Solstice! May the blessings of yesterday provide building blocks to an even brighter tomorrow!
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