Solstice Reflections

Well, we made it.   Got thru another year with all of its ups, downs, sideways and all to often upside-downs and inside-outs.   Congratulations to us, though, we may still have a few remaining scars and scratches from that tumultuous ride.

Was it worth it?

It's a question I seem to ask myself every year around this time.   Despite all of our modern technologies, electricity, wifi and artificial environments, our beings are still called to honor the natural cycles.   To slow down.  Reflect.  Breathe.  Give thanks.  Take stock.   Look forward in hope.  Today, it's an opportunity to remember that we, too, are still part of the natural world and honor that tug to align to those cycles.  We feel it in our bones, as we want want to rush less, rest more, be more quiet.

So today, at the threshold of a new season, and conclusion of an old one, I allow myself that period of respite to mentally take stock of all the things that happened, the things I've learned, the things I've gained, what I've let go.  And I'm amazed.  It's been one heck of a year.   Each year I'm blown away with where my life ended up from where it began that previous January.  We get so caught up in the current crises of the day we often forget just how far we've come and lose our sense of time.   The current drama hasn't been going on forever, it just feels like it.   We've overcome much larger obstacles than these - we have the proof.  And we've had far greater victories.  We just need to remember.  Today's a good a day as any to do that.

So I dust off the memory banks and endeavor to relieve the highlights.   As I go thru my mental checklist of all the "big things" that happened this year, I'm a little shocked to see a fairly clear trend emerge.   If I had to assign a theme to this year it might be "stand up, speak out, stream line, clear out, get ready."    For what?  I wonder.  It seems, intuitively, I'm preparing for a big change on all fronts.   About clearing out the debris in my life that doesn't positively impact me, getting rid of what I no longer need - attitudes, doubts, fears, non-contributing relationships, situations - and taking active steps to alter those that I can in ways that are more in line with what I need.

Sure, there have been some sadnesses as well.  Some losses.   Some disappointments.   Though, really looking at those, they all had a purpose with something positive to take away - no regrets.   So not sure they really count as bad. At the time they might've felt a bit overwhelming but now, looking back on the entire year, they are far outweighed by the good.  Or maybe I've just learned to see something good in them and recognize the opportunity in them.   Opportunities that helped me recognize and align to the next really good thing coming around the bend.  It's that perception thing again that seems to turn the tide.  Nifty little trick, that positive thinking thing.

Maybe that's what the Mayan's meant -  that the negative world as we know it will end and we will choose to see a new world with new eyes?  I dunno.   Probably not, but that's how I'm choosing to interpret it.  Because clearly, we're still here on this "end of the world" day.  The ground did not swallow us up, the aliens did not come to take us away on their space ships.  We did not physically ascend anywhere, yet, perhaps we are internally transformed.  Maybe just a little.

I, for one, am glad for this down time today, on the shortest day of the year, to take a slight break.  To catch my breath, to give thanks for where I am, how far I've come and take a restorative break to prepare for a a new year filled with opportunity, creativity and a likely roller coaster of changes in the coming year with all kinds of new opportunities, changes, challenges and adventures just waiting.  I can sense it.  I can smell it.  If it's anything like this year, I'm going to need an extra seatbelt and a safety harness!

But, yes.  It was definitely worth it.  I'm glad the Mayan's were wrong and we have a new day for new beginnings.   I'm absolutely ready to do it again......

Happy Winter's Solstice!  May the blessings of yesterday provide building blocks to an even brighter tomorrow!

The Flight of the Butterflies

When a flock of butterflies are doing a flying trapeze act in your stomach, your fingers tingle with electricity and there's clearly no power cord coming out of your butt, you gotta wonder:  What's going on here?  Do we automatically assume we ate too much spicy food or do we actually slow down long enough to listen to our body to consider it could be something else?

Often we've been told "trust your instinct," to "go with your gut", act on what "feels" right.  However, we immediately start masking it with seemingly rational, logical explanations, dismissing what we already know subconsciously to be true in favor of some outside option instead of listening to ourselves, the best source of what's real for us.  Why is it so hard to trust that we know our own minds better than anything or anyone else?  Our bodies are wonderful alert systems - if we let them be.  The basic "fight or flight" response depends on it.   

Early cavemen knew that.  They likely didn't to stop and think and analyze if there were truly butterflies in their stomach or if they had perhaps put too much spice on the woolly mammoth steak they'd had for dinner the night before.  Their instincts were all they had and it was vital that they trust them or they would quite literally be eaten by that which would otherwise become dinner.  Though the stakes are no longer quite as high, since we are no longer in danger of killing our prospective meal before it makes a meal of us, we still have plenty of other decisions to navigate without complicating that process by consulting self-help books, Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, therapists, support groups or psychics when we already possess the most reliable decision making tool available.  Yet, too often, we ignore it.   

When our brains push the override button, that mechanism to discern shuts down, buried under a pile of logical justifications, mental red tape, obscuring what's real.  As with any muscle, without use, atrophy sets in.  It becomes as hard to to get a straight answer out of ourselves as it is to get honesty out of a politician.  And just as convoluted.   In all of our consulting of "reliable" sources, we wind up with no real trustworthy information at all.  And how do we know that?  Our gut tells us.   Because the butterflies are still restless.  So we chalk it up to indigestion and take an antacid to shut them up.  And wonder why we still don't know.  And unrelentingly, they continue to nag at us, trying to deliver their message.  Thank goodness they don't give up on us as we've given up on them.  But it doesn't have to be this hard.

Some call it intuition, sixth sense, or simply the common sense of heightened awareness of one's surroundings, but there's no denying that something is happening, physically. Our skin starts to tingle, the hairs on the back of our neck start to rise and something in the air seems sharper, something almost tangible.  Similar to the feeling of walking down a dark alley, late at night when the air feels charged, awareness is on high alert and we can "feel" the presence of a stranger behind us.  Why?  Because we "know" if we whirl around unexpectedly we could touch it.  We know this, for fact, because our body cues us with a sense that is keener.  Primal, even.   It's like we can smell that something is....up.  And it scares us.  So we hind behind our mind again and start consulting our sources.  We've become so far removed from ourselves we know longer recognize it, let alone trust it.

The answers are already there, if only we'd look.  If it feels bad, it's a good bet that it is.  If it feels dangerous, better consider looking over your shoulder and be ready to pop the threat in the head with a good right hook.  If it feels good, it probably is or we'd have sensed the "wrongness" of it - there's no need to second or third guess it, and immediately assuming we don't know our own minds so need proof before we believe ourselves.  When did we become our own enemy?  The mind has nothing to do with it.  The mind tries to rationalize the irrational.  But our gut knows. And doesn't waste a lot of time in philosophizing or justifying.  It just states the facts.  And we tell it to stop being rude.  

Have you ever met someone that, on immediate introduction, your body just recoils and you cannot get far enough away from them.  And it has nothing to do with whether they ate garlic for lunch.  They say the right words, are perfectly polite, don't do anything considered offensive yet, for an inexplicable reason you want nothing to do with them and feel a seemingly irrationally threatened?   But how irrational is it, really?

Instead of trusting our gut, we chastise ourselves for being impolite, lecture ourselves why we shouldn't feel that way - "you have no PROOF!" we argue with ourselves, "Stop that nonsense and be nice - what's wrong with you?" ("Not a damn thing" smirks our indignant gut.  "It's so CLEAR!").  "Hush!", we say.  So we feel guilty at our uncharitable attitude and resign ourselves to smile and make nice, all the while still not sure.  And the butterflies nag at us some more.

Pretty soon, we no longer know what we think, why we think it, all we know is something's not jiving.  We start to wonder if it's us and we redouble our efforts to rationalize or explain why we should instead of accepting what is.  We let fear and mistrust win.  The mind taunts us, while the butterflies get buried by layers of logic.  We start seeking therapists to help us understand why these relationships don't make sense.  We start to listen to our friends, well meaning, but not qualified to inform us about what we are really feeling.  They are, after all... not us.  And even if we could hear them, the butterflies are no longer talking.  Their wings are laden down with the weight of too much logic and rationalization, tangled in circular arguments until they too, have a headache and given up.  Our faith in the truth, misplaced, no longer rests with ourselves.  In our quest to fit in and not appear selfish, or worse, irrational (gasp! What would people think if I did that?!) in our choices, we follow advice of what others think we should do and ignore our own instincts.  We tolerate that which we don't want and makes us uncomfortable and run from that which we do, all for the sake of appearances and misguided trust wires.  Along the way, we've forgotten to trust ourselves as navigators of our own lives.

Maybe we can try to remember that the next time the butterflies do their dance in our bellies.  Instead of reaching for the nearest antacid and the therapist's number, maybe we can just listen and not try to censor them.   Because they won't let us rest until their message is delivered, anyway.  Might as well just listen to them in the first place, and save ourselves a lot of time and angst.  If we can do that, our instinct muscles will strengthen and we won't need so much validation - and maybe we can finally remember that we already had the answers in the first place if only we'd asked ourselves and actually listened, without judgement.

Nature's Changes and Natures of Change

Without warning, it seems, winter has arrived.   Felt my first snowflake of the season yesterday.   For me, that's good news.  I've always found the first snow to be a little thrilling and it always brings with it a happy, surreal hopefulness.

Seems like we were just fanning ourselves against the heat and now we're eagerly reaching for coats, gloves and hats just to feel that warmth again.   The seasonal changes affect us all a little differently but there is one commonality we can't avoid:  When nature transitions, so do we, whether we want to or not.  And it got me thinking about the nature of change and why we try so hard to resist it.

It's an easy delusion to fall into to think we can control our world with our modern conveniences of artificial lightening, air conditioning and heating.    We don't have to change what we wear, or what we do.   We can stave off the night by turning on flood lights and continue wearing t-shirts in December and our favorite sweaters in June if we really want to.  We reason, if our environment is the same, then everything in it can remain the same and we don't have to look at our issues, make real decisions or, gasp! change!  We like it that way - nice and tidy - and everything humming along at the same pace all the time.  Change is scary, after all.  And we had enough of that with that spooky October holiday.

Whether we want to admit it or not and no matter how desperately we try to preserve the status quo, there is no denying the reality check that first cold burst of air delivers, squarely knocking the delusion right out of our head.  Nature smacks us upside the head with the icy cold blast, "Hey! Wake up! Pay attention!  Something's gotta change!  What are you gonna do about it?  You can't just sit there pretending it's not there and freeze, after all!"  And we grudgingly go get our coats and mumble about how cold it is, completely forgetting the same mumbling we did back in July that we now seem to be longing for.  But it is neither the heat nor the cold we really object to.

If we are willing to be truly honest with ourselves, we recognize that transition is all there is. There's no getting around it.  We can't stop the changes in our lives any more than we can stop the leaves from falling and the cold wind from blowing.   But we can decide that it's not a threat and choose to see it as an opportunity to discover new paths we'd never considered.

Winter, by its very nature, is a period of slowing down.  Trees go dormant and animals hibernate, preserving their strength for the spring.  Even the days don't work as hard, providing less hours of sunshine than they do the rest of the year.  We often forget that we're part of that natural environment, too.  Maybe we should take the hint and stop pushing so hard to maintain the "sameness" of our lives.  Maybe a chilly cold blast of the first snow or a snowflake on our tongue is what we need as a reminder that we are not isolated from the patterns of nature as we might like to think and embrace the opportunity to put on the brakes a little bit - and see what kind of chilly inspiration and insight we might find if we can just stop resisting transition for a little while.

When the cold wind blows, maybe we can greet it with delight, instead, and the thrill of knowing it brings with it the promise of new springs - if we're willing to let it.

Season's Creepings, One and All!

"See the eerie Darkness fall...
Hear the raven's Chilling Call...
Feel your skin begin to Crawl...
Season's Creepings, One and All!"

And so reads one of my favorite Halloween cards.

What is it about this time of year that makes us shiver with such frightful anticipation?  Perhaps it is the distant howl of the wind, its icy fingers inching up our spine.  Our senses, heightened by that anticipatory delight, relish in the stillness that is a bit too still.  Not fully understanding for what, we wait, our hearts racing for the unseen to become seen.

We fix our eyes into the darkness, searching in the shadows that are not shadows, our heart skipping a beat, but we see only the tricks of the moonlight.  We wait and watch, unaware we are holding our breath, in the not so stillness of the unseen, which is almost seen - in the imperceptible, that is almost tangible.  If we reached out our hand we could touch it.  But we do not dare for fear of what we might find.

The moon mocks our fear, as we laugh off our uneasiness and let out our breath.  Though, warily we keep one eye over our shoulder, just in case.  The chill in the air settles in our bones, along with the realization that perhaps we do not know what we think we know.   That perhaps we are not what we think we are.  That all that is cozy and warm is an illusion.  And our imagination begins to take flight and rides the whipping wind thru the screaming trees, higher up across the sky and plunges rapidly into the depths of the blackness of night.  The familiar looks unfamiliar now and our lighthearted laughter dies in our throats.

Strange singing is heard in each rustle of leaf as it begins its downward spiral dance of fall.  In a play of light, a sudden movement catches the corner of our eye.  We spin around, ready to confront our follower, yet, nothing.  Or something?  We no longer know.  Our trust of the known has abandoned us and we begin to see that nothing is as it seems, ourselves included.

Our noses, burning with with the scent of mystery and magic in the air, smell the possibilities where everything is possible.  And we can be whatever we want to be.  We revel in the exhilaration of that freedom!  A wildness overtakes us and we uncross our arms, and toss back our hair.  Embracing this new vision of ourselves, we face the wind with a boldness of challenge and the moon smiles at our courage!

Tomorrow, the trees will return to being just trees, the wind will once again blow gently on our skin and we will return to ourselves and all that is cozy and warm.  But for tonight, just this one night, we, too, meld with that mystery where nothing is what it is seems and exhilarate in the thrill of that freedom.   A smile slowly spreads across our face as that familiar shiver of delight, again creeps along our bones.

Happy Halloween!

A Pirate's Life for All

Ahoy, Mateys!

In honor of International Talk Like A Pirate Day, annually celebrated on September 19, I thought I'd take a moment to explore why it is that we love pirates so much. Well, maybe we don't all love pirates, but I know I sure do!  And certainly don't mind being one for the day.

First order of business was, of course to find out my pirate name and corresponding piratical nature, which were surprisingly fairly accurate.

My pirate name is:

Iron Bess Bonney

A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
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So what's with the fascination, I wondered, and came up with a few possibilites:

1) Forbidden.  These are the bad boys that Mama warned you to stay away from (yeah, right, like that's gonna happen).  That just makes them all the more alluring as you try to find out why.   What have they done to gain that status? and then the next appealing trait surfaces....they become...mysterious...

2) Mysterious and Exotic.  Aren't we typically drawn to something we don't understand?   Because we see in it an opportunity to learn something, to see life thru a different lens, to learn a little more about ourselves and to live a little, outside our normal day to day box....and why would we do that?

3) Adventure: Of course!   No one said, ever,  "You know, Doctor, I've always dreamed of living a boring life where nothing interesting or unexpected ever happens.  The idea of sameness and predictability all the time, is my most fervent wish."  And if they did, we'd google the name of the good doctor to set them straight.  These guys (and gals)  grab life by the coconuts with an iron grip and swing on the riggings of their own imaginations.    They are limited by nothing but their own courage to step into the unknown.  We like that.  We wish we did that more.  We admire them, because we are a little afraid of them.  And we sigh, wishing we could follow suit.

4) Liberated, Decisive and Confident:   They are not bogged down by mundane concerns of responsibilities, mortgages, bills and conducting themselves with decorum.  Bah! They flaunt decorum and live by their own rules.  If someone makes you angry at the PTA meeting, you certainly don't have to smile and work it out with little Bobby, the terror's, delusional mother, thru the next 12 months of school band fundraisers.    You'd maroon both their petulant, bratty butts on the nearest deserted island and thank them to stay off your ship and out of your waters in the future.  And that's if you're the sort of pirate with a heart.

Simply put, they don't put up with any shit.  None of this lamenting "Oh, I want to do this, but what if it upsets so and so, maybe it's better if I just do what makes them happy.  It's not all that important to me, anyway, right?"  Of course it is!  They'd swab the deck with us if they heard us boo-hooing about our indecision.  "Quit lettin' the guilt o' others be decidin' for ye, the things yer own heart should be mindin' fer itself!" is what they'd tell us.   And then they'd give us a swift shove with their sword a bit further out onto the gangplank.  Unless, of course we managed to somehow retrieve our misplaced self-confidence from the inside of our boots where, incidentally, we'd been busy stomping all over it ourselves in our futile attempts to appease others.  They can do things we fear we can't.   They can live.   And they do it on their terms.  "But, wait," we say.  "I want to really live, too, not just exist." Which bring us to....

5) Authenticity of Self:   They know who they are.  They know what they want. They make no apologies or excuses to anyone or themselves.   And do not feel the need to fit into anyone else's definition.  Sure, sometimes their actions won't win them the Nobel Peace Prize, but hey, they're not out to impress anyone.   They're just trying to be true themselves.  They are being the best version of themselves that they know how to be.   That's the thing that probably excites us the most.  In all of our years of being told to be "Be nice.  Get along.  Let someone else go first", we've forgotten how to honor ourselves, and to take our rightful place at the helm as Captain of our own life.

It may not be sustainable to live this way all time - we do have to, after all, exist within the confines of polite society, so, some small compromises may be necessary on occasion without giving up the essence of self.  Lest we find ourselves in the brig, that is, for bad behavior.   But, certainly, at least one day out of the year, perhaps on September 19, it may just do our black hearts a spot of good to join with them for a pint o' rum or grog and sing a little celebration song in a toast to ourselves.

If we run our own ship aground, well, yeah, it may be splintered, we may need to do repairs, or abandon the course entirely and set out on a new one, but so be it.   It's our damn ship to do with what we please.  If we want to change its course and point it to a new horizon that offers greater hope and promise, we should be allowed to do that, too.  We are the only ones that hold the key to that permission treasure chest.  We are, after all the Captain, and the Captain always has the final word. That's the lesson our pirate brothers and sisters have to teach us.

Yeah.... I think I wanna be a pirate....at least, for today....

Hey, you, Scurvy Dog, over there!  Fetch me a pint, would ya?

Time and Time Again

Recently blessed by the visit of an old friend (old, not because he is old, but old because we've been friends for more years than we've not been friends) got me thinking about the longevity and constancy in our relationships and what makes some endure and others fade.   As we go thru life, we are bound to change.  The people that resonate with us in one phase, certainly cannot be expected to resonate with us in another as we morph into a new self.   As anyone will say, you must shed the old in order to fully embrace the new.  But what about the old that becomes part of the new?

In those younger years and our lack of experience or limited frame of reference, we were very focused on things like loyalty and betrayal and a false sense of what that meant.  Back then, it was based on a sense of sameness, of fitting in and having things in common.   Like attracted like.  We had no real depth yet - no way of connecting on any other level except for shared interests and superficial similarities.  When those changed, as is inevitable once people begin to grow, the relationships based solely on those factors did, too.   Except for the ones that didn't.   There were the rare few that survived.  Not because we had more in common or they were cooler or more like us, but because they loved and accepted us, exactly for who were.  Not just that in moment, but across all moments.   When we stopped being who we were when they met them, they did not cry "Betrayed! Betrayed!" but looked at us kindly with concern and asked "who do you want to be?  How I can best help you be the new you that you want to be?" - and they did it.  Each time.  Over and over again.  Without judgement.

They become our confidants, our accomplices, our solid, safe place from which to launch our latest crazy idea.   They cheered with us when we won, they cried with us when we lost, they wisely kept their mouth shut when we embarrassed ourselves, and wordlessly helped us clean up the mess and pick up the pieces of our shattered egos and self-esteem and somehow made us feel whole again, time and time again.   They held us up, even when they didn't understand us or agree with us, because it's who they are and what they do.   I often wonder, without them, would I ever ever been able to get back up? Fortunately, I never have to find out.   They are waiting, their hand outstretched to help me up again no matter how big of a mess I've landed myself in, typically of my own doing.  They go out of their way to do something that is meaningful to you, not to them, because it brings you happiness.

The older I get, the more changes I experience and the more selves I become/re-invent, I am more profoundly amazed at how some those friends are still here.    Our lives have taken such different turns and we are profoundly different people yet, somehow there they still are.   It hasn't been an easy ride for many of them.   There have been times that we still cringe at the dark days and laugh, with tears in our eyes, at all the different roles we've played in the years.  I would've left myself years ago if I were them, but no.   I know I can count on them no matter how many times I screw up.   And I feel blessed and honored.   When I ask, joking (and not so joking) why they still stick around I got a simple, but astonishing answer:  "Because you've always done that for me."  Really?  I feel like I don't do enough sometimes and I am humbled and even more committed to show up and be a better friend.   But I guess that's what that whole loyalty thing is about.   I'd move mountains,  if I could,  to protect these guys and help them find joy and honor, respect and support the current self they've chosen to be.   But it's a lot easier for me - they're pretty wonderful!  Me, well, let's just say they've got their challenges dealing with me on occasion.

I have a friend who has known me since I was 18.   I am no longer that girl and can barely remember her and not really sure I want to, but he does.   And he still sees her in me as well as who I've become and accepts the entire spectrum.  His eyes still shine with the loyalty to his friend from so long ago and all of the friends in the new selves I created thru the years that he also stood by.   And when he tells me stories of those days, some of the little things he remembers, which I've long since forgotten, are such small things in my mind, but are treasured memories in his.   Similarly, his memory is equally blank when I remember small kindnesses he did that meant so much to me.   I guess that's why we are still friends.    We remember only the good of each other.  We don't count the good things we've done because we've forgotten our own good deeds and typically can only remember our own failures.   They have forgotten our failures or don't see them as such.  There is no keeping score.

Today I look at the man that he's become and I am so proud and honored to be so blessed to have such a friend.   We talked a little about why we were still here, amazed that the core of our friendship has never really changed despite how far we'd come from those teenagers, just embarking on the world, not knowing a damn thing about what we were doing.    We were so clueless!   And we came to this realization:   The original trust, of unconditional support, naive though it must have been at the time was not unfounded - it was still there.  It was never broken, it was never betrayed.   No matter how far we may have drifted apart over the years at different points,  we knew that we would always show up.    You just don't find that every day.    As many of the relationships in my life have come and gone in the years, I am remarkably blessed by the number of friendships I have that are just like this one.   Many of them have been there for decades, some are fairly new but no less committed.

There is no hiding from them.  They know all the secrets, they know where all the bodies are buried (hell, they probably helped bury some) and know how ugly I can get - despite that, they still show up.   They've done some pretty amazing things:  They drive hours and take days off of work to visit with my mother because it's important to me.   They even get her drinking margaritas and tell her embarrassing stories about me from years ago that make me want to crawl under the couch and hide while she roars with laughter and their eyes twinkle with sheer evil.  They make up stories, just to make me laugh when I am having a hard day.  They call my bluff and tell me I'm full of it when I am - and then laugh at me.  They refuse to let me be dishonest with them or myself.  And they are kind (brutally so, when I'm being obtuse that I can't hear it any other way - they've been known to shout when I'm being particularly deaf).  They push me to follow my dreams and encourage me when I start to doubt.   They do things for me, because it's important to me and for no other reason.  Sometimes, just because I asked them to - no questions asked.  No explanations needed.  Pure and unconditional support.  I am humbled and honored and think, wow, am I lucky to have friends like this.

Now we do not connect because we are the same.  Or even like the same things.  Or live the same kind of life.  In fact, in many cases, we are so different that it's astounding that we are friends at all.   Except for that one thing that remains unchanged.   That loyalty, that unconditional trust and acceptance, regardless of who we are or who we will continue to become.    That's what differentiates them from the others.

And it makes me want to show up for them, too.....every time.

Welcome to my new blog!

Many have been nudging me (my subconscious, included) for a while.  The spirit of those collective conversations went a little like this:

Me:      But what would I write about?
Them:  Anything! How can you be a writer if you don't actually write?
Me:      ::Virtual brick of truth hits me squarely in the forehead, knocks me on my booty::
Them:  So....?  ::feet tapping, impatiently::
Me:      But will it be interesting enough?
Them:  Are YOU interested in it enough to talk about it? To think about it?  To find out what others think about it?
Me:      ::I am silent, I am pondering this::
Them:  What if they are thinking what you are thinking?  What if NO one says it.   Shouldn't someone say it? And if they're not thinking it, should they be?  Wouldn't that be interesting - just to see what they think?  What anyone thinks?   Maybe we can all learn something?
Me:  Wow.   Ok, then....let's do this!

I've never done this before so here we go.    I've always been a big fan of leaping into the unknown, virtually blindfolded, a little nervous queasy feeling my stomach, shaking my head knowing I have no idea what I'm getting into and relishing in the possibilities that I may encounter on the path.   The "more guts than brains" syndrome I seem to have a chronic case of.  The idea of getting real, unplugged, and unvarnished to get to the root of who we are has always interested me.  After thinking about it some more and some additional nudging from friends who had already gone before me down this path, I finally decided to take the leap.

Come along on my adventure.  Let's think, and muse and ponder and debate together.   Let's share, laugh, comfort, console, rant, rage, wonder and delight.   But mostly, I invite you to join me as a travel mate on this journey.  Regardless of where it takes us, may we always step forward with integrity and honesty and follow those things that bring us joy, beauty, laughter and love.  And do it with the honor and respect of each other and every living thing.

Many Blessing and Bon Voyage!